It's been a long time since I was a student at the University of Missouri-Columbia. Just ask my daughter Madeline.
Mizzou wasn't exactly high on her list of collegiate destinations. At 4:30 this morning, it wasn't on mine either. But I'd registered us to attend Meet Mizzou Day, and by god, we were going to meet it, even if it would require speeding most of the way there. (Except through Fulton. Never speed through Fulton, trust me.)
Despite our late start, we managed to get to the Memorial Union pretty close to 8 a.m. As we hustled to the check-in station, I squinted up at the ornate clock tower. It was prettier than I remembered. Impressive, even. Not that Madeline noticed. For one thing, I embarrassed her by chatting with the greeter. And by making a restroom stop. And by asking a question at the Honors College table. How she suffers.
After a 30-minute introduction by a recruiter and two students, Madeline and I found a campus tour guide outside the Union. Her name was Ashley, and both of her shoes were untied, which I promptly pointed out when she asked if we had any questions before our tour. Madeline was not pleased.
We've taken several college tours, so Madeline and I were expecting the backwards-walking routine. But Ashley didn't care for walking backwards. Perhaps she'd tripped on those shoelaces before so really, who could blame her. Besides, the campus was treacherously packed with other tour groups Meeting Mizzou. We paused at the corner of the famous quadrangle long enough for Ashley to explain the origin of The Columns, a majestic row of six survivors of a long-ago campus fire. I was looking forward to a walk around the Quad, but Ashley decided to shake things up and head right back toward the library.
"Do you want to go in the library?" she asked. Her tone implied the obvious answer was "no." So we headed to another building to check out a classroom. It wasn't as cavernous as the lecture halls I remembered from my academic glory days. And hey, the class was equipped with those clicker thingies that allow you to select an answer to a question and immediately see the class results on a screen. Madeline is accustomed to seeing such results on an active board at Kirkwood High School. Mizzou students see them on their own laptops and iPads. Still, this was progress! Mizzou didn't have a Mac Lab until I was a junior. Yes, I'm That Old.
Ashley rounded us up for a quick peek at The Shack, a reincarnation of a storied hangout of Mizzou alums even older than me. The Shack was destroyed by fire before I had the chance to enjoy it, but now we could see it rebuilt, complete with an area to carve your name into the wall. Just like the olden days. Cartoonist Mort Walker used to hang out at The Shack, so there was a statue of his creation Beatle Bailey in the foyer. "Who's Beatle Bailey?" Madeline asked. Sigh.
Next we briefly checked out the bookstore. Then our tour group headed for the gymnasium, where we spent an inordinate amount of time milling about. Basketball courts, racquetball courts, the Pump Room, a swimming pool that rivals hotel amenities, another swimming pool that Michael Phelps proclaimed had "fast water" and yet another pool outdoors that marks the spot of a former campus watering hole. And no, not the boozy kind, an actual watering hole where Mizzou students had once refreshed their horses.
After a quick tour of a dorm, we headed back to Memorial Union. I didn't bother asking Ashley questions because frankly, I didn't want to trouble her.
"What now?" Madeline huffed. The girl does not care for exercise, and our tour had worn her out. According to the schedule, we had two hours to burn before the Honors College session, so I led her back to the bookstore. Boring. Then I asked for directions to a cafeteria where we could have a free meal. Embarrassing. Once we found it, we sat outside for a bit, thinking that the doors didn't open till 11. Wrong. And Embarrassing. Madeline cheered up when she found out that once you hand over your ticket, college cafeterias provide an all-you-can-eat gorge fest. "I can see why freshmen gain so much weight," Madeline acknowledged. Our chicken quesadillas were prepared to order and surprisingly delicious. I had a Diet Pepsi, while Madeline opted for grape juice. Then we both had soft-serve ice cream. We tried to have more soda but to be honest, we were just too full. So we headed back out into the sunshine. Madeline was upbeat until she found out I wanted to revisit the Quad.
"Whyyyyyyyyy?" she beseeched me. "I'm tired! I don't wanna." I literally had to grab her arm and pull her there. For me, it was worth it. The Columns and grounds are so inviting, an opinion obviously shared by the many students flopped in the grass with their Shakespeare's pizza and frisbees. Madeline didn't care for frisbees. Or grass. Or sunshine. Or at that moment, me. Still, I dragged her to one of my favorite buildings, Pickard Hall. There's a plaster cast gallery of famous Greek statues on the first floor, and a tiny gift shop upstairs. I snapped photos blissfully until Madeline asked, "WHY are you taking pictures of naked people?"
We got back to Memorial Union just in time for the Honors College session, the last item on the Meet Mizzou agenda. There were only four other kids in the room with an assortment of parents who inferred they'd like to wrap things up quickly and break for lunch. Madeline wasn't enthusiastic about another session either. At one point, I think she dozed off. As for me, this was the main event. I didn't even know Mizzou had an Honors College! The premise is that the Honors College makes a giant land grant campus like Mizzou feel like a smaller, more selective university, populated by like-minded students who favor academic pursuits. The overview was satisfying. Still, I had a few questions, like, "What's your take on Mizzou versus Missouri S&T?" My ex-husband was pushing the state school in Rolla, a town I must tell you is an armpit. Much to my satisfaction, the professor shared my preference for Mizzou, and he gave me ammunition for future battles with Madeline's dad. He said S&T focuses on engineering, which is limiting in this day and age. Mizzou gives students like Madeline the chance to apply their interest in chemistry and physics to a wide range of research opportunities with topnotch programs like medicine, journalism, law and more.
I had a few more questions. And a few more after that. Then, I hit the presenters with a whammy. "So what do you say when people dismiss Mizzou as a 'fall-back school?'" The professor emitted a strangled sort of gurgle. The three students on stage were quick to point out that they were from other states and had specifically selected to attend Mizzou. They all seemed baffled by such an assessment. As the professor regained his composure, I explained that I had graduated from the School of Journalism, so I thought quite highly of the university. But in the 80's, Mizzou had a reputation as a party school. The professor nodded, then explained something I'd never heard. The admission and scholarship requirements are published on the Mizzou website. If you meet the requirements, you know you'll be admitted. Consequently, the acceptance rate is really high. Other schools don't do that. You apply, then hope, then pray and eventually find out if you're in. Mizzou's common sense practice bites it in the butt when it comes to national rankings because the rate of acceptance figures into the system used by US News & World Report. A high acceptance rate leads to a lower rank.
Suddenly, I didn't feel guilty about potentially sending Madeline to Mizzou. In fact, I felt pretty good. Too bad she was getting surlier by the second. After a quick trot around downtown filled with cranky queries like "where are we going" and "my feet hurt" and "why do you go into shops without buying anything," we finally made it back to our Subaru. I had wanted to walk through the journalism buildings and take a look at my sorority house, but I spared Madeline the agony and headed back to St. Louis.
See you next time, Mizzou. Perhaps in the fall of 2014.
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